Madame President


President Biyda Devi Bhandari

This article was written on March 10th, 2018

Madame Biyda Devi Bhandari will once again become our President. Yes, our comrades have decided to stick with Bhandari and Pun as candidates for our President and Vice President and they are more than likely to win the election for their respective offices.

After all, our comrades have most of the votes! Some of our comrades are not happy with Oli acting like a Maharaja when it comes to making most of the decisions in his party.

But it’s his show for now and please give the man a chance to lead us to somewhere. Oli is right when he tells us that having Madame Bhandari and Pun Dai from the Meowists for the same positions will save our taxpayers’ some money as we don’t need to spend millions more for finding new accommodation, vehicles and other chiya kharcha if they moved out.

That’s true but they will move out in five years and we will have to spend millions anyways but saving a few Rupees for now is much better than wasting more.

The Congressis have also fielded a woman candidate for President as well. It would have been nice gesture if our comrades had decided to support a candidate from the opposition for the office of President but it seems that Madame Bhandari wants to remain in office and enjoy the perks. And we can’t blame her. After all, her decision to invite families of Prachanda and other comrades for dinner a while ago must have worked on her behalf.

Jhala Natha Baba wanted to be the President but it seems that Oli and his courtiers have more say in the party than other former Prime Monsters like Jhallu and MaKuNe Dai! Well, let us not feel sorry for Jhallu Baba because he already gets all the perks for being our former Prime Monster.

So what does it take to be a President in this beautiful land of ours? Nothing! Our politicians don’t have any criteria except that you have to be in the right place at the right time. Dr. Yadav became our President and not Girija Babu. Then we had Madame Bhandari and we will have her for another five years as well. Maybe someday, we will have a President whom we will all look up to and embrace him or her fully and not be blinded by our party affiliation or other prejudice.

But once you become a President then you must not play politics. You must stop acting like a politician and act like a guardian instead. Your job is to make sure that our politicians are not destroying this country. Yes, some of Oli’s own party members are not happy with the decision to field the same old folks for election for the office of President and Vice President.

Well, the Meowists get the VP and the Speaker quota while the UML gets the President. That’s how power sharing works in politics. If one gets to be the Prime Monster then the other partner gets to choose the Home Minister.

After all, it’s not about working for the nation but for working hard to fill the party’s coffer and their own bank accounts as well. Well, our politicians don’t put their ‘black’ cash in bank accounts. The cash is used to buy vehicles, land, factories and other companies in the name of their far distant cousins.

But if our media really wants to do some kind of investigative work and come up with our own ‘Nepali Papers’ then all they need to do is to get hold of all the personal aides of our politicians. It’s not our Prime Monsters and mantris who truly know how much they have made from kickbacks and other illegal nataks. Their personal aides (PA) carry their black books and that’s where all the secret lies.

We have just celebrated Women’s Day and it’s a good thing that we will stick with a Madame President for now. But our politicians have failed miserably when it comes to other positions of power. Ashta Laxmi Shakya could have become our first woman Chief Minister from Province 3 but Oli and his friends decided to go with another male senior citizen instead.

Nothing against senior citizens, but it’s time our women who are active in their own respective political parties show their strength and demand that our crazy old men give women the opportunity to lead as well.

If not then how about our women politician quit their parties and form a party of their own. We have tried the same crazy old men leading us and we have failed. Isn’t it time we let our mothers, sisters, wives, daughters and girlfriends lead us to the Promised Land?

Our Madame Bhandari will continue to be the chief guest for all the programs at Tundikhel for another five years. I think she should be an example for all of us by cutting down on same old programs at Tundikhel where our government wastes millions of Rupees to watch the same old parades and display by our security agencies.

Madame Bhandari should also cut down on expenses for the President’s House as well. Please don’t waste millions and millions of Rupees on new vehicles, new curtains and furniture. Instead, start a ‘President’s Fund’ where millions of folks will receive a chiya kharcha if they meet the required criteria set by the office of President.

It’s about time our government funded programs for our artists, filmmakers, poets, writers, actors and all those involved in creative works instead of doling out funds to their own cadres who only engage in destructive works.

And it’s about time the CIAA was under the authority of the President as well. Oli thinks we need a strong Prime Monster to lead us to peace and prosperity. But what this country really needs is a strong President who will act like the Class teacher and not hesitate to call out our juvenile delinquents for their bad behavior and also make sure that they are held accountable for their actions.

The office of the President is above petty politics. And it would be nice if our Madame President also offered to host a wedding party for one lucky couple every year inside the President’s House. Now that would make her the People’s President, wouldn’t it?

This article is written by Guffadi who is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

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